Never wax your eyebrows when you are bored

I was procrastinating last night. I have a few remaining bits and pieces to price for my sale on Saturday, but I did not want to go out to my car to bring them in to get it done, so I decided to wax my eyebrows. Nothing wrong with that, no disasters, I am not missing half an eyebrow. However, after I finished up with the brows, a thought occurred to me, “hey, I could do a little under the arms”. I have not waxed there before, I am a soap, water and a razor kinda girl. But I had the wax out…so what the heck.

I quickly discovered a couple of things. 1: Yes, it is as painful as I imagined, and 2: My left hand does not do things as quickly as my right.

For those of you who have never waxed anything, here is a visual.

Heat up the water based wax in the microwave to make it easier to apply. It will now have the consistency of honey, and like honey, it will get everything sticky. Spread on a thin layer in the direction of hair growth (ya right, it grows in every direction, and thin is not an option, once it is on, it is on, spreading it just pulls the hair). Press the strip of fabric that comes with the wax onto the area you just put the goop onto. Now, pull or tighten the skin in the opposite direction that you will be pulling the wax off. With your other free hand, quickly rip the strip off in the opposite direction of hair growth. Stop crying and repeat as needed. As you can imagine, when waxing under your arms you only have the use of one hand…. The other hand is reaching so far back behind your head you think the Chinese Circus could use you in a contortionist act.

Now, (once the swelling and bruising subsides) I have pits you could mistake for a baby’s bottom (if you were blind, and the baby was 40 years old) and a car full of pots still to price.